I guess I’ll tell you a little about Pluto: The dog that I almost got rid of.
Pluto, as a puppy, had a tongue too big for his head. He would often wander around the house with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. When we first came across Pluto, I insisted to Emily that we don’t get him. And I mean I REALLY insisted… But she knew that he was the perfect partner for Tinkerbell. She was so insistent on it that she used her own money to buy him. So, Pluto became something of an adorable problem to me.
Upon bringing him home, we kind of were under the impression that his bathroom habits would come naturally (and by that I mean he would learn from Tinkerbell about using pads and such). Nope. He had, from day one till about 1 month ago, pooped, peed, and threw up in any place he could land his feet. His biggest habit was staring me in the eyes while he peed on the floors of my apartment. When we first got him, we also brought Pluto and Tinkerbell to Virginia to visit my parents, where he was free to do his business outside, which suited him.
Naturally, I began to regret getting Pluto. As Edgar was to Pewdiepie, so was Pluto to me. I couldn’t stand the little thing, but, as it goes, Emily insisted that we keep him and that he was just a puppy (and at this point he was about 5 months old) and still needed to learn. I just wasn’t having it though.
After one particularly bad manic episode in August, in which I became furious with Pluto for again peeing and pooping wherever he felt like, I told Emily enough was enough, and we needed to give him to a home with a yard and a family with a higher tolerance than I had.
The next day we began looking for a family that would have him, and there were A LOT of people who wanted him. One family even came over and saw him. The children of the family had previously had an allergy to dogs, and hoping that a hypoallergenic dog would be the solution. But when the children were licked by him, they quickly broke out in a rash. All the while, Emily couldn’t look at me, and would cry when she was with him. I took this photo on the day we were sure the family was going to take him:
Seeing Emily’s sadness made me realize how ridiculous I was being. He loves me, and he loved me so much since he was a puppy, but I just am such a manic person that sometimes I lose focus of reality. Once the family left, I told Emily that we would keep Pluto and how sorry I was. That night he peed on the pad (one of the few times he ever did).
Since then, he’s still a little bit of a mess, but he’s adjusting to pads and loves walks. He’ll never fully commit to using pads, I know this, but I’ve seen him become close to me like Tinkerbell is to Emily. I have never felt more shame for my behavior than then. I soon adjusted my medications, taking anxiety pills more often and increasing my bipolar medicine.
Recently his become my companion. I love him, and I often have him asleep on my legs or beside me at night. He loves giving kisses and does something my old dog Goldie used to do: he leans against me when he wants me to pet him. The day I noticed this I kind of teared up, because Goldie was kind of like my Spirit Animal and losing her over 3 years ago still makes me cry sometimes. Pluto, though imperfect, is my friend, and though sometimes I say I ‘tolerate’ him, I love him beyond words. When Emily cries at night from fibromyalgia, he often licks her tears away. When I’m feeling upset, or just depressed, he’s always beside me, pushing against me, reminding me what unconditional love feels like when I’m too blind to see I’m surrounded by it.